Heartbreak

It's been a long time, hasn't it?  I've been busy trying to live my life to the fullest, and all I can say is that it's not really working.  I wish people could just say how they feel, and follow the way they feel.  I also wish that life were more like the movies, and that good and interesting things happened to everyone everyday.  The terrible thing about growing up is that life isn't so great all the time, and that the world is a really horrible place to be.  The best thing we can do is to try and live life in a way that makes the world less horrible--I have trouble following through with this.

When I get knocked down, it's hard for me to get back up.  Knowing the truth about the world is new for me, and it all seems quite hopeless.  I've recently learned the power that people have.  People can hurt you, they can make you feel better too, they can make you happy, they can make you sad.  It wasn't until I realized this that I also realized that I have power over people too.  I can hurt them, or I can make them happy.  I know it's hard to live life in a way that is beneficial to others, because generally we just think about ourselves, but I want to try to start living for others.

After a recent heartbreak I learned who my friends are.  Friends are the ones that stick around to hear you complain, and try to make you feel better.  I want to be the type of friend that sticks around.  I was trying to live my life to the fullest, but really what I was doing was putting myself in the fast lane, and that's evidently exactly how to have your heart broken.  So I say, instead of living your life to the fullest, live your life for others, or live your life to be the best person you can be.

The first heartbreak is the worst I think (I hope).  It's not so much losing the other person, though that is much of it, but it's also the feeling of rejection, and finding out that someone doesn't want to spend forever with you.  I know it all sounds stupid, especially since it's 1:38 in the morning, and I'm going half insane from sleep deprivation.

I am now watching Bridget Jones's Diary for the third time tonight, and eating dark chocolate (at least it's good for my heart--my broken heart).

The overall theme of the story:  Don't live too fast, be the best you can be, live for others, and stay on a consistent sleep schedule so you don't end up like me.

And no, I haven't forgotten :)  Here are some unique songs to hold you over:
-"Cigarette Duet" by Princess Chelsea
-"Pretty Face" by Soley
-"Take Me Somewhere Nice" by Mogwai
*-"I'll Never Forget You" by Birdy
-"The Violet Hour" by Sea Wolf
*-"Hello, I love you" by The Doors
*-"I Can't Make You Love Me" by Bon Iver
*-"Somebody that I used to Know" by Gotye
*-"All by Myself" by Celine Dion


* Especially pertaining to my broken heart/ex-relationship