The End of the World

I honestly do not believe the world will end anytime soon, so don't get all antsy and freaked out.  And, no, I don't believe in the whole "2012" thing with the Mayans.  First of all, are we not forgetting about leap years?  In Mayan times, they didn't have leap years, so, December 21st 2012 on the Mayan Calender would not be December 21st on our Calender, so, you can stop freaking out about that if you have some sliver of belief in it. But, I do think we should all think about what we would do if it was the end of the world.  Or, if it was the end of our life.  If you had a week to live, what would you do?  Would you go sky diving?  Would you travel?  What would you do?  If I had a week to live, I would non-stop listen to The Beatles, search for the truest friend one could have, talk for hours, eat pounds and pounds of chocolate, go cliff diving, and skinny dipping, and I would finally fall in love with life.  I just wish it didn't take looming death to make us live our lives.  Why can't we just go cliff diving, sky diving, traveling, etc., without a reason?  Why can't we all just fall in love with life?

I wish everyone (including myself) could just wake up and realize that time is limited.  It is a scary feat to live one's life, because it means accepting one's eventual death.

I guess what's gotten me all worked up is the trailer for "Seeking a Friend for the End of the World."  Every time I see the commercial, I want to cry my eyes out.  I have a list of about fifty things I want to do before I die, and let's just say I've accomplished less than the amount of fingers I have on one hand (p.s. I have the average amount of fingers).  Well, I guess I can conquer the world tomorrow, but for now, sleep.

A Female Warrior

For some reason I do all my writing at about two in the morning... perhaps it is all boredom... perhaps it's just when my brain works best... maybe it's loneliness, whatever it is, I'm writing this post at 2:17 in the morning.  But anyways, I've all of a sudden had an increase in toughness, and courage, and it's all due to watching Snow White.  After coming back from the theater, I felt ready to kick in some faces and swing round my bow and arrow.  It's a good movie, and I would say that you should see it, though the ending is pretty predictable.  So now I feel like being a female warrior, so if you have any trolls that need fighting, call me up.

Fighting trolls sure would be fun, better than sitting here watching creepy infomercials, and commercials that advertise "phone services for hot singles" and other stuff like that.  Doesn't the TV know I need something entertaining to watch at 2:25 in the morning?!!!!!  I'm also simultaneously on Facebook, but of course no one is up, and nothing entertaining is happening.  If only I could defeat a troll!!!! Emphasis on the defeat, because I would not want to die...... yet.  Everyone is deleting their Facebook because apparently it isn't cool anymore, but I like it!!! So, I'm dedicated and loyal.... and so what if Facebook has been around for awhile?!!!!!! It's easy, and you can call it vintage to look cool!! I really don't know why I'm using so many exclamation marks........I just really do not want to go to sleep.  I've had about six cups of coffee today, and so I'm all hopped up!!!!

My dogs smell really bad....BUT I JUST BATHED THEM!!!! It just doesn't make sense :'(

I WANT SOME PUDDING :'(

YES, I COMPLAIN A LOT

OKAY

Sargent Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club

You don't know how much I wish James Blunt sang the song "You're Beautiful" to me.  I wish people could just say what they feel, and go with it: follow their heart!!  I try to live that way, but it seems I'm the only one, and that makes it hard.  Another night watching Bridget Jones's Diary all alone, blogging, and drinking.... a Jones soda.  At the moment I sort of wish I was living on a Hippie commune, that would solve the loneliness, and hippies say the way they feel, so wouldn't it be perfect?! Unfortunately, I have no idea where to find a hippie commune, and I would have no way to get there because I'm stuck being an imprisoned teenager.

Lots of people probably feel the way I do (I hope), and they are smart enough to not blog about it.  P.S. Do you like my Beatles reference in the title... I must be super cool:) (but we all know that's not true).  Anyways, back to the point, I'm not the only lonely person in the world.  I forget what movie it's from, P.S. I Love You, I think, but someone says something like "If we're all alone, then we're all together in that too."  I just wish we could all gather up the courage to be together.  We're all searching for something great to suddenly happen to us, and most of us don't realize that happiness is right at our fingertips.  I am just learning this, at this very moment.  It doesn't help to sit on your couch watching Bridget Jones's Diary wishing that you could have a Mark Darcy (Bridget Jones reference) come and sweep you off your feet....... and yes, all of this applies to me, and you're probably wondering what's wrong with me at the moment...the answer is, everything is wrong with me.  Just, embrace happiness, accept people for who they are: no one is perfect, and neither are you, and finally, allow yourself to fall in love, fall in love with chocolate for example.  I need to learn all of this.  May your life be infinitely better than mine.......etc.

Summer 2012

Summer.......sigh.  Summer isn't as fun as it used to be because:
a) I can't go to summer camps anymore
b) I don't get to see my friends everyday
c) I don't have a job (I tried, but no one wants to hire a teenage genius apparently)
d) I don't know what to do!!!!
So, if you have any ideas of what I should do: COMMENT!! or don't......

SUMMER PLAYLIST:
-Let Me In-Snowmine
-Wake Up-Arcade Fire
-You and I-Washed Out
-All I Need-Radiohead
-You Already Know-Bombay Bicycle Club
-Breaking Away-Ratatat
-To be with You-The Honey Trees
-Bad Girls-Blood Orange
-Eyes Closed- The Narrative
-Sunrise Sunset-We are Trees
-Little Talks-Of Monsters and Men
-In the Summertime-Mungo Jerry

My Record Collection

My record collection is quite extensive, I think, as I have only been collecting for two years or so.  And, I am in High School, therefore, I have no salary, so how I managed to scrape the money together to buy these is a mystery to me.  So, here is a partial list, of my favorite records that I have.
-Horses-Patti Smith
-Rewind-The Rolling Stones
-Wednesday Morning, 3am-Simon & Garfunkel
-Tapestry-Carole King
-Who's Next?-The Who
-Synchronicity-The Police
-The Soundtrack Cabaret-The Musical Cabaret
-Helpless Blues-Fleet Foxes
-State of Confusion-The Kinks

Heartbreak

It's been a long time, hasn't it?  I've been busy trying to live my life to the fullest, and all I can say is that it's not really working.  I wish people could just say how they feel, and follow the way they feel.  I also wish that life were more like the movies, and that good and interesting things happened to everyone everyday.  The terrible thing about growing up is that life isn't so great all the time, and that the world is a really horrible place to be.  The best thing we can do is to try and live life in a way that makes the world less horrible--I have trouble following through with this.

When I get knocked down, it's hard for me to get back up.  Knowing the truth about the world is new for me, and it all seems quite hopeless.  I've recently learned the power that people have.  People can hurt you, they can make you feel better too, they can make you happy, they can make you sad.  It wasn't until I realized this that I also realized that I have power over people too.  I can hurt them, or I can make them happy.  I know it's hard to live life in a way that is beneficial to others, because generally we just think about ourselves, but I want to try to start living for others.

After a recent heartbreak I learned who my friends are.  Friends are the ones that stick around to hear you complain, and try to make you feel better.  I want to be the type of friend that sticks around.  I was trying to live my life to the fullest, but really what I was doing was putting myself in the fast lane, and that's evidently exactly how to have your heart broken.  So I say, instead of living your life to the fullest, live your life for others, or live your life to be the best person you can be.

The first heartbreak is the worst I think (I hope).  It's not so much losing the other person, though that is much of it, but it's also the feeling of rejection, and finding out that someone doesn't want to spend forever with you.  I know it all sounds stupid, especially since it's 1:38 in the morning, and I'm going half insane from sleep deprivation.

I am now watching Bridget Jones's Diary for the third time tonight, and eating dark chocolate (at least it's good for my heart--my broken heart).

The overall theme of the story:  Don't live too fast, be the best you can be, live for others, and stay on a consistent sleep schedule so you don't end up like me.

And no, I haven't forgotten :)  Here are some unique songs to hold you over:
-"Cigarette Duet" by Princess Chelsea
-"Pretty Face" by Soley
-"Take Me Somewhere Nice" by Mogwai
*-"I'll Never Forget You" by Birdy
-"The Violet Hour" by Sea Wolf
*-"Hello, I love you" by The Doors
*-"I Can't Make You Love Me" by Bon Iver
*-"Somebody that I used to Know" by Gotye
*-"All by Myself" by Celine Dion


* Especially pertaining to my broken heart/ex-relationship

New Playlist

I'll Be Seeing You  by:  Billie Holiday
Who Loves the Sun   by: The Velvet Underground
First Day Of My Life    by: Bright Eyes
Coming Up Roses   by: Elliott Smith
Teen Age Thugs    by: Sonny and the Sunsets